Concerning my family... I got lucky.
I'm halfway around the world and I still get voicemails, emails, and conversation almost daily (when I get online really).
If they weren't so supportive, there is no way I'd be able to do this.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
Old Shoes
For Emily and Sarah.
It's funny how we let ourselves be defined by labels.
I think it starts in elementary school, when you actually start becoming your own person making your own desicions. You hear yourself labeled one time and you either embrace it completely or reject it. The label "tomboy" could mean that you spend your formulative years wearing anything but dresses, or only wearing dresses.
It's like the first pair of shoes you got to choose yourself; it's not exactly what you wanted, but it is what your mother thought you needed for school. So you make it work.
But the labeling doesn't end in elementary school. In middle school you become a nerd, or an athlete, or a pagent princess. For me, I was the "outsider."
And so in high school, the label "introvert" just becomes an scientific-sounding progression of that previous label. How easy it is to go from "tomboy" to "outsider" to "introvert." The labels become less defining, but it doesn't stop us from trying to live them up or down.
You think that college is a whole new beginning, but you've lived in the labels so long that college ends up just being an extension of high school. Unless you take drastic action that summer before freshman year (changing you name, your hair, your clothes, losing that baby fat, etc.), you continue to be an "introvert". It's simply easier that way.
You even leave the country, and you hold on to those labels. They mean something at this point. They're an explaination for that hard question: "Why are you the way you are?"
"It's hard for me to meet people 'cause I'm an introvert."
"It's hard for me to learn new things 'cause I'm not much of a studier."
"It's hard for me to try new things 'cause I'm more of a reader than an doer."
And then you realize, in the middle of a conversation with a friend, that she thinks your an extrovert. Of course, you protest vehemently, because if you aren't an "introvert"... then what are you?
But nevertheless you begin to wonder.
Out of curiousity, you take a personality test.
And you find out, she might be right.
"It's hard for me to meet people," you've been saying to your new friends.
"It's hard for me to learn new things," you've been saying in your beginner's spanish.
"It's hard for me to try new things," you've been saying while traveling the world.
Maybe it was easier to explain why you couldn't do something than to just do it.
You'd been so worried about explaining your limitations to yourself that you haven't realized you've outgrown the labels (and the limitations). Maybe you find that the labels never really truly fit right. Like that pair of shoes that's a smidgen too small that you wear because it's easier to keep wearing them then go shopping for new ones.
Maybe, like shoes, you can never own just one label. Or maybe, like shoes, you're constantly wearing them out.
It's funny how we let ourselves be defined by labels.
I think it starts in elementary school, when you actually start becoming your own person making your own desicions. You hear yourself labeled one time and you either embrace it completely or reject it. The label "tomboy" could mean that you spend your formulative years wearing anything but dresses, or only wearing dresses.
It's like the first pair of shoes you got to choose yourself; it's not exactly what you wanted, but it is what your mother thought you needed for school. So you make it work.
But the labeling doesn't end in elementary school. In middle school you become a nerd, or an athlete, or a pagent princess. For me, I was the "outsider."
And so in high school, the label "introvert" just becomes an scientific-sounding progression of that previous label. How easy it is to go from "tomboy" to "outsider" to "introvert." The labels become less defining, but it doesn't stop us from trying to live them up or down.
You think that college is a whole new beginning, but you've lived in the labels so long that college ends up just being an extension of high school. Unless you take drastic action that summer before freshman year (changing you name, your hair, your clothes, losing that baby fat, etc.), you continue to be an "introvert". It's simply easier that way.
You even leave the country, and you hold on to those labels. They mean something at this point. They're an explaination for that hard question: "Why are you the way you are?"
"It's hard for me to meet people 'cause I'm an introvert."
"It's hard for me to learn new things 'cause I'm not much of a studier."
"It's hard for me to try new things 'cause I'm more of a reader than an doer."
And then you realize, in the middle of a conversation with a friend, that she thinks your an extrovert. Of course, you protest vehemently, because if you aren't an "introvert"... then what are you?
But nevertheless you begin to wonder.
Out of curiousity, you take a personality test.
And you find out, she might be right.
"It's hard for me to meet people," you've been saying to your new friends.
"It's hard for me to learn new things," you've been saying in your beginner's spanish.
"It's hard for me to try new things," you've been saying while traveling the world.
Maybe it was easier to explain why you couldn't do something than to just do it.
You'd been so worried about explaining your limitations to yourself that you haven't realized you've outgrown the labels (and the limitations). Maybe you find that the labels never really truly fit right. Like that pair of shoes that's a smidgen too small that you wear because it's easier to keep wearing them then go shopping for new ones.
Maybe, like shoes, you can never own just one label. Or maybe, like shoes, you're constantly wearing them out.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
La Antigua
They call it the "Antique Guatemala" because that it just what it is. Before Guatemala City was the capital, the seat was held in Antigua. The city was hit by two devastating earthquakes (of 1717 and 1773), after which the capital was moved to its current location. But walking through the streets of Antigua it is easy to imagine that the Spanish Military government held power here for decades. The architecture is glaringly colonial and they churches positioned on every other street corner (I am only exaggerating a bit) retain the echoes of past religious conflicts.
The heart of Antigua resides in the Central Park, or Parque Central. The rest of the city is organized grid-wise with "avenidas" running north to south and "calles" running west to east. The entire city is surrounded by active and inactive volcanoes. Any direction you look, you see the mountains looming into the clouds (that is if there are clouds, the sky has been surprisingly clear since I have arrive, probably because the rainy season in Guatemala is in late summer) The streets are composed of old cobblestone that you can image has been here since the city was first built. Drive to fast on the road, as most of the drivers do here, and you will be in danger of giving all your passengers motion-sickness.
The house I am staying in sits in the most north-western part of the city. A white house, with two levels, the windows are barred ( like most of the windows in Antigua). I live on the upper floor. It is usual in Guatemala for there to be spaces in the houses open to nature. For example, the courtyard of our house (not really a courtyard, more of a small area open to the sky) resides on the first floor of the house. But my window and the common balcony open over it. This means that every time I leave my room, I actually step outdoors. But it doesn't matter; the weather is warm and it rarely rains this time of the year.
I've had two housemates that I've lived with since I arrived. Ester, who had departed to return to the States (but who lived in Washington, DC for a time, which clearly makes her a kindred spirit) and KC. Both girls attend the same Spanish school that I do.
The school is gorgeous. Unlike the many other Spanish schools that seem to pop-up (or have popped- up) all over Antigua, the school that I attend, Christian Spanish Academy (a former school for missionaries that still seems to attract many people of the faith) is very professional. At every table in the school it is possible for the student to see the sky directly. I, however, have the best table of all. My teacher, Lisa, and I sit at a table in the middle of the modest courtyard surrounded by flowers, bushes, and (after 10 am) the sun. I don't think I've ever learned as well as I have outside. Lisa also tends to have patience with me (which most teachers in the States have lacked). She seems to understand that sometimes I just need to be standing when conjugating verbs. If you are ever looking for a school to learn Spanish, I heartily recommend this one. Note: the teachers don't speak English, you learn entirely in Spanish.
The heart of Antigua resides in the Central Park, or Parque Central. The rest of the city is organized grid-wise with "avenidas" running north to south and "calles" running west to east. The entire city is surrounded by active and inactive volcanoes. Any direction you look, you see the mountains looming into the clouds (that is if there are clouds, the sky has been surprisingly clear since I have arrive, probably because the rainy season in Guatemala is in late summer) The streets are composed of old cobblestone that you can image has been here since the city was first built. Drive to fast on the road, as most of the drivers do here, and you will be in danger of giving all your passengers motion-sickness.
The house I am staying in sits in the most north-western part of the city. A white house, with two levels, the windows are barred ( like most of the windows in Antigua). I live on the upper floor. It is usual in Guatemala for there to be spaces in the houses open to nature. For example, the courtyard of our house (not really a courtyard, more of a small area open to the sky) resides on the first floor of the house. But my window and the common balcony open over it. This means that every time I leave my room, I actually step outdoors. But it doesn't matter; the weather is warm and it rarely rains this time of the year.
I've had two housemates that I've lived with since I arrived. Ester, who had departed to return to the States (but who lived in Washington, DC for a time, which clearly makes her a kindred spirit) and KC. Both girls attend the same Spanish school that I do.
The school is gorgeous. Unlike the many other Spanish schools that seem to pop-up (or have popped- up) all over Antigua, the school that I attend, Christian Spanish Academy (a former school for missionaries that still seems to attract many people of the faith) is very professional. At every table in the school it is possible for the student to see the sky directly. I, however, have the best table of all. My teacher, Lisa, and I sit at a table in the middle of the modest courtyard surrounded by flowers, bushes, and (after 10 am) the sun. I don't think I've ever learned as well as I have outside. Lisa also tends to have patience with me (which most teachers in the States have lacked). She seems to understand that sometimes I just need to be standing when conjugating verbs. If you are ever looking for a school to learn Spanish, I heartily recommend this one. Note: the teachers don't speak English, you learn entirely in Spanish.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Eating Alone
Worse three things about going to Lunch alone in Guatemala:
1. No one to hold the camera for you when you pass beautiful Guatemalan buildings on your way to lunch. So you inevitably end up with My-space like pictures that clearly emphasis you worst superficial qualities.
2. No one to watch your stuff for you when you need to go to the bathroom in a restaurant. So either you pack up all your things and take them to the bathroom with you, you let them get stolen, or you wait until finished eating to go to the bathroom :(
3. No one in the whole cafe gets your very witty United States-esque inside jokes.
1. No one to hold the camera for you when you pass beautiful Guatemalan buildings on your way to lunch. So you inevitably end up with My-space like pictures that clearly emphasis you worst superficial qualities.
2. No one to watch your stuff for you when you need to go to the bathroom in a restaurant. So either you pack up all your things and take them to the bathroom with you, you let them get stolen, or you wait until finished eating to go to the bathroom :(
3. No one in the whole cafe gets your very witty United States-esque inside jokes.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Buses
There are three types of bus in Guatemala.
There are the charter buses. These are usually reserved for long distances. For example, Alej and I took a charter bus from Guatemala City to Xela on my first full day in the country. These buses are usually the nicest and the newest. The seat recline and there are seat belts. Though the bus driver might let a few vendors on the bus to sell their wares, it usually only happens when the bus driver or his right hand man (the man collecting money in exchange for money, helping people with bags, etc.) knows the vendor (or is receiving some kind of bonus from the vendor) since the charter companies try to cut down on this kind of hassling. Baggage is stored in a compartment under the bus and the fare is about 6 USD or 40 Queztals. This is the kind of bus that I gather tourists usually take.
There are micro-buses. These are private buses (and I use the term buses liberally; they are really no more than painted vans stuffed with extra seats) that, I take it, are usually owned by the drivers. Their right-hand man is usually a boy in his late teens, no older than me. The boy hangs by one arm out of the open doors calling the bus destination as the bus rumbles down the cobbled streets of Xela, which date back to a time before cars. One ride is about 1.25 Queztals (about a third of a dollar) so this is a popular mode of transportation in a city as sprawling as Xela. You know which bus to take from the Route number hand-painted on the side of the van. I did not see one tourist besides myself on these buses, and I only thought to take one cause Alej was there to keep me from getting completely lost in the convoluted system.
Then, there are what Alej calls "chicken buses." She says she calls them this because they tie chickens to the top of the buses. I haven't seen this yet, but when we took this type of bus from Xela to Pana (a city by the lake that lies about halfway between Xela and Antigua- my final destination in Guatemala) this is where they tied my huge backpack. These buses are retired school buses from the States that have been painted in many different bold colors, which indicate ownership. Seat belts have been removed and racks have been installed above the seats for small baggage. The right-hand man in this case is also the porter, loading heavy bags on top of the bus and looking for potential customers (also by standing in the doorway of the bus as it slowly passes groups of people on the side of the road). Mostly this kind of bus is full of Guatemalans, but on the second leg of our trip to Antigua, Alej and I saw a lot of tourists from out of the country.
There are the charter buses. These are usually reserved for long distances. For example, Alej and I took a charter bus from Guatemala City to Xela on my first full day in the country. These buses are usually the nicest and the newest. The seat recline and there are seat belts. Though the bus driver might let a few vendors on the bus to sell their wares, it usually only happens when the bus driver or his right hand man (the man collecting money in exchange for money, helping people with bags, etc.) knows the vendor (or is receiving some kind of bonus from the vendor) since the charter companies try to cut down on this kind of hassling. Baggage is stored in a compartment under the bus and the fare is about 6 USD or 40 Queztals. This is the kind of bus that I gather tourists usually take.
There are micro-buses. These are private buses (and I use the term buses liberally; they are really no more than painted vans stuffed with extra seats) that, I take it, are usually owned by the drivers. Their right-hand man is usually a boy in his late teens, no older than me. The boy hangs by one arm out of the open doors calling the bus destination as the bus rumbles down the cobbled streets of Xela, which date back to a time before cars. One ride is about 1.25 Queztals (about a third of a dollar) so this is a popular mode of transportation in a city as sprawling as Xela. You know which bus to take from the Route number hand-painted on the side of the van. I did not see one tourist besides myself on these buses, and I only thought to take one cause Alej was there to keep me from getting completely lost in the convoluted system.
Then, there are what Alej calls "chicken buses." She says she calls them this because they tie chickens to the top of the buses. I haven't seen this yet, but when we took this type of bus from Xela to Pana (a city by the lake that lies about halfway between Xela and Antigua- my final destination in Guatemala) this is where they tied my huge backpack. These buses are retired school buses from the States that have been painted in many different bold colors, which indicate ownership. Seat belts have been removed and racks have been installed above the seats for small baggage. The right-hand man in this case is also the porter, loading heavy bags on top of the bus and looking for potential customers (also by standing in the doorway of the bus as it slowly passes groups of people on the side of the road). Mostly this kind of bus is full of Guatemalans, but on the second leg of our trip to Antigua, Alej and I saw a lot of tourists from out of the country.
Scooter
Riding on the back of a scooter may not be the safest way to get around, but I have discovered that it might be one of the more fun ways.
Black Sand
The sand covering the beach of the area where Alej's grandmother took us to was covered in black sand, the product of years of volcanic rock erosion. The drive there took two hours, past sugar cane fields mid-harvest ('tis the season) and waterparks. The last hour of the drive was spent swerving back and forth on a road so riddled with potholes that it was impossible to take a nap. But it was worth it. We ended up at a parking lot, where we disembarked only to haul our belongings onto a old wooden motor boat that took us to the other side of a river. We were then on an island (or peninsula). We walked to the other side of the little land mass to discover beautiful palm trees and the salty breeze that you only find near the ocean.
The first thing we did was change in to our bathing suits.
The second was head down to the beach for a late lunch at a fish shack on the sand. Best fried fish I have ever had, caught the previous day or that morning, coated in unidentifiable spices and fried in oil served with papas fritas (french fries) and cold Coca-Cola in glass bottles. The left-overs were fed to the stray dogs and pigs that roamed the beach.
After lunch we headed to the beach. The water was warm from the tropic weather that you can only find at similar latitudes. Alej and I spent hours in the water; past the time where our digits got prune-y. We talked about mermaids, swimming, anything, as the waves broke over us. The sun set just before we hit the beach. But our day wasn't over yet.
We hit the pool for a hour or so, only emerging for a scrambled eggs dinner. Then showers, a walk down the beach with our feet in the water, Popsicles made with blended fresh fruit, and a sit-down around the pool tables. We were exhausted by the time our heads hit the pillows in our hotel room.
The day started much in the same way. Back to the beach for another hour in the sea before breakfast at the fish place, back to beach, the pool, more fried fish and papas fritas torn apart and eaten with our hands, back to the beach to wash greasy hands in the salty water and swim. Then it was time to leave.
Black sand is hotter than regular sea. Not because it's volcanic, but because of the color which absorbs more heat. In the mid-day, if you weren't wearing sandals, you were running as fast as your feet would take you to the next shadow.
We showered of the sand from uncomfortable places on our bodies, packed up the room, had a last popsicle, took the boat over to the mainland, and got back in the car. At first only Alej's 6-year-old cousin was able to sleep on the pot-hole ridden road, but by the time we pulled up at her grandmother's house after dark I had fallen fast asleep. Lots of beach and sun and fish and running on the beach and talk of mermaids will do that to you.
The first thing we did was change in to our bathing suits.
The second was head down to the beach for a late lunch at a fish shack on the sand. Best fried fish I have ever had, caught the previous day or that morning, coated in unidentifiable spices and fried in oil served with papas fritas (french fries) and cold Coca-Cola in glass bottles. The left-overs were fed to the stray dogs and pigs that roamed the beach.
After lunch we headed to the beach. The water was warm from the tropic weather that you can only find at similar latitudes. Alej and I spent hours in the water; past the time where our digits got prune-y. We talked about mermaids, swimming, anything, as the waves broke over us. The sun set just before we hit the beach. But our day wasn't over yet.
We hit the pool for a hour or so, only emerging for a scrambled eggs dinner. Then showers, a walk down the beach with our feet in the water, Popsicles made with blended fresh fruit, and a sit-down around the pool tables. We were exhausted by the time our heads hit the pillows in our hotel room.
The day started much in the same way. Back to the beach for another hour in the sea before breakfast at the fish place, back to beach, the pool, more fried fish and papas fritas torn apart and eaten with our hands, back to the beach to wash greasy hands in the salty water and swim. Then it was time to leave.
Black sand is hotter than regular sea. Not because it's volcanic, but because of the color which absorbs more heat. In the mid-day, if you weren't wearing sandals, you were running as fast as your feet would take you to the next shadow.
We showered of the sand from uncomfortable places on our bodies, packed up the room, had a last popsicle, took the boat over to the mainland, and got back in the car. At first only Alej's 6-year-old cousin was able to sleep on the pot-hole ridden road, but by the time we pulled up at her grandmother's house after dark I had fallen fast asleep. Lots of beach and sun and fish and running on the beach and talk of mermaids will do that to you.
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